don't let it burn

5 years and 5 months since last post. Just for record keeping. It's fine. None of this matter.

...sometimes I wonder why we all liked blogging. And reading each others' blog posts. I loved it, I still do and wish it still existed. IT WAS NOT LIKE SHARING ON SOCIAL MEDIA. I preferred the term "live journal" and hated saying or writing the word "blog." And now I think there is an actual distinction between the two, more than there used to be. At the time (20 years ago *blank stare*) blog/livejournal were interchangeable. Blogs now are for a specific PURPOSE. They are not journals at all. They are all self-help, advice, travel, recipes, whatever... maybe with a little personal story thrown in, but still-- there's a purpose to every post. Maybe substack is taking the place of "live journals" now... I've seen more of those without a purpose, and just a sharing of thoughts, ideas, journal-y type stuff. With social media, there's no effort. With blogs and journals, you had to seek each other out. You had to "know" the address of your friends blog. It was a smaller scale I guess? And it felt nice, in a strange way, to express something and feel like the people that you wanted to see it would. 

there's something...

I lied.

Well, no. Not exactly. I just didn’t follow through. As is my usual way with most thing.
Perhaps a new challenge for December.

November 13th - Today

November 12th - Today

November 11th - Today

November 10th - Today

November 9th - 14 years ago

November 8th - 15 years ago

November 7th - 2 years ago

November 6th - Today

November 5th - 14 years ago

Today, I am thankful for my brain. It remembers where things are even when I can't actually pull it forth. It directs my body towards missing objects without me needing to actually know where I am going. The other night, I was falling asleep trying to figure out where I knew a face from. My brain was flipping through places like flashcards... Walmart, the bank, grocery store, doctor's office... and then finally it got it. I usually feel out of it, frazzled, completely dazed and confused by the chaos of life and lack of sleep, so I'm super thankful that my brain has a pretty efficient autopilot setting.


I'm not thankful for how big of a role my emotions play in my day-to-day life and productiveness. How I "feel" can completely dictate how much I can get done. And I tend to be completely wishy-washy in the "feelings" department. I can feel great and motivated one minute, and horrible and self-loathing the next. Control over emotions is definitely something I need to work on. Seriously.

November 4th - 3 years ago

Thankful: A big family

NotThankful: Overwhelming noise

Paragraph fail.

November 3rd - Last Year

I am thankful today for all of my daughters and each of their unique personalities.

I am not thankful for my impatience with them.

I will perhaps fill in more to create a full paragraph later...

Baby Judah - November 2nd - 11 years ago

Today, I'm thankful for Judah. We are having his birthday party today with friends, and he has so been looking forward to this day. He has been planning for weeks, with 7 different birthday prototypes. We settled on Avengers theme. He is such a kind-hearted kid. So polite and communicative. Mature for his age. Talks easily and confidently with adults (which is more than I can say for myself). I'm so grateful to be him mom, but not sure why someone more qualified wasn't chosen for the job.


I'm not thankful for how fast time goes by. I can't believe that my oldest boy is 11! It's too much for my heart&head to handle. 12, 11, 9, 7, 5, 3. My "baby" is 3. It blows me away. Lesson to be learned is try to be thankful for each day as it comes. These kids and these days are truly a gift that will only last a lifetime.