Life and death and everything in between.

When I think about Stephen, I get this strange uncomfortable feeling under my skin. It feels almost like my insides are buzzing. I don't cry. Not usually. I only have once, maybe twice. I feel like I might, but I don't. I can't really process what's going on in my head and I never have the time or clarity to write it out, even though I feel like it might help. I just feel like he should still be there. Not that we talked often, or ever really. But when we did, it was just normal...comfortable. Not weird. Not like we "just knew each other in highschool" or whatever. Thanks to the awesome power of the internet and Facebook, I always had the feeling that he was "there"-- wherever there may be. He existed. And thanks to the awesome power of the internet and Facebook and the preservation of All Things, I still feel that he should and does exist. He still has a profile. He is still in pictures. I will forever be reminded that it's his birthday.